• Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes, he accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes and sidewalks.
• Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses the gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow, and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the circle of life.
• If by some space-time paradox Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.

• Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t play God, playing is for children.
• Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
• Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

• Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.